At this point, I should be immune to surprises when it comes to Grey’s Anatomy. I mean, this is the show that blew up Kyle Chandler in the hallway after Meredith Grey successfully removed a bomb from a patient’s abdomen. This is the show that ran George O’Malley over with a bus and dragged him along for a full block. This is the show that killed Lexie Grey and Mark Sloan in a plane crash. And don’t even get me started about Andrew DeLuca getting stabbed by a human trafficker. At Grey Sloan, a place that should be absolutely uninsurable by now, shocking deaths are about as common as rain in Seattle. And yet, I have to admit, this finale still knocked the wind out of me.
I’m tempted to skip straight to the ending on this one, but bear with me for a moment of restraint while we set the scene. It’s the last day of the interns’ first year. We begin, as Grey’s often does, with several overlapping romances, only one or two of which feel built to last. Jo and Link fit into the latter category. They just got married, he serenaded her at the altar, and now they’re about to have twins. Cuties! In the “maybe” category, we’ve got Simone and Lucas, who have all the chemistry in the world but also never seem to stay on the same page for very long.
And in the “not a chance in hell (I hope)” cohort, we have this season’s intern-attending ’ship, Ndugu and Millin, and also Teddy and Owen — who opened up their marriage for about 30 seconds this season before it all went to hell. Being that this is a finale, we finally get at least some closure on all of these relationships. Unfortunately, in one case, the answer might just be “complete and utter tragedy.”
Remember that neuro patient, Dylan? Adventurous, adorable, precocious? She’s still sadly comatose, and her mother, Jenna, is despondent. She’s so desperate, in fact, that she takes Amelia and Simone hostage by threatening to blow up the hospital with a canister of explosive gas that she nicked from her husband’s job. Jesus Christ.
Now, one might argue — and, in fact, Amelia does — that surgeons cannot exactly do their best work without proper monitoring equipment and while under duress. But Jenna is not in a state of mind to hear that. She’s not really in the mood to hear much of anything except, “We operated on your daughter and she’s fine now!” And so, Amelia must once again make a miracle happen. If she doesn’t, a huge chunk of the hospital is about to explode. No sweat! Beltran eventually walks by, sees what’s going on, and tells Webber, who calls 911.
A few ORs away, Teddy is also feeling the pressure. Moments after coming up with a trailblazing procedure to save Owen’s dying childhood friend, Nora, she found him curled up next to her in her hospital bed last week. This is not exactly ideal when your marriage is hanging by a thread, but you know, Owen’s gonna Owen. Also peak “Owen” behavior? Failing to provide a satisfying answer to the question “Are you in love with her?” Never in my life have I wanted two people to get a divorce this badly. But because Teddy is unstoppable, she decides to move forward with the surgery anyway — even after Owen plants seeds of doubt in her head about her brilliant procedure. Just because he’s never changed medicine as we know it with a sketch on a cocktail napkin doesn’t mean she can’t!
And when the entire floor begins to evacuate because of the hostage-and-explosive situation? Teddy just keeps on going, as does Ndugu, and as do their assisting interns, Millin and Kwan. In the real world, I imagine this would be absolutely wild behavior, but to be fair, no surgeon would ever get anything done at Grey Sloan if they let little scares like this rattle them.
Meanwhile, Jo and Link become the inevitable couple to miss the memo about the hostage emergency because they’re too busy having pre-honeymoon floor sex. Luckily for them, they face zero consequences when they walk into the hallway all flustered asking what’s going on. Everyone’s too busy dealing with, you know, the bomb threat. (Well, not bomb … What do you call this? Gas-tank threat? Whatever.) Somewhere in the middle of all this, Jo tells Link that the twins are girls, and he’s absolutely thrilled to be a girl dad. This makes what happens next all the more tragic.
Over in the hostage OR, things get tenser and tenser by the minute. Dylan needs FFP to stop the bleeding, and they don’t have it. Everyone’s yelling, and while Simone tries and fails to talk Jenna down, Lucas lunges at the frantic mother with a scalpel. Thankfully, their savior shows up just in time. Did I mention that Meredith came back to Grey Sloan for a visit? What timing!
Meredith sees the same labs that tell Amelia she needs FFP and rushes upstairs with a bag, just in time to find everyone looking ready for a cage match. Dylan stabilizes, and the surgeons confirm to her weeping mother that it’s all over. Jenna drops the gas tank and everyone freaks out until she reveals that it’s been empty the whole time. Simone, whom Jenna has had in a vice grip this entire time, is furious to the point of sputtering. Obviously. The police rush in and take Jenna away, and once Simone and Adams make their way to safety, they move straight into what’s important: kissing like there’s no tomorrow. Who cares that they rarely see eye to eye on the future? In this moment, they know that all they want is each other.
There’s just one problem. That random hottie that Simone hooked up with at Joe’s last week after her and Lucas broke up? It turns out he’s actually going to be an intern at Grey Sloan next year. Oopsie! One thing you learn after watching this show for a while: If you bring home a stranger from Joe’s, there’s a good chance they’ll show up next to you at work tomorrow. Just ask Meredith, whose life Simone appears to be rebooting step by step.
Oh, and speaking of intern-attending relationships, we’ve finally got some movement on Millin and Ndugu. Turns out, I was right: He might be into her, but she does not feel the same way. When she finds out that he booted her off his service because the lines were getting “blurry” for him, she’s understandably angry. Why should she lose out on opportunities because of his feelings? It’s unclear where this will go next season, but I have a feeling there’s still more to come.
The good news? Nora’s surgery goes great. And here’s the even better news: When Owen finally tells Teddy he’s in love with her and married to her and committed to being only with her, she hits him with the ultimate break-up line: “I’m choosing me.” AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
Finally! Teddy and Owen, sitting in a tree — D-I-V-O-R-C-E! We could sit here and quibble over Teddy’s break-up speech, where she tells Owen that ever since they met, she’s only chosen him. Once again, we can note that her affair with Koracick kind of blows a hole in that narrative. But you know what? I have never cared less about any fact ever in my life. The important thing is, they are donezo. Let’s keep it moving and call up Cass Beckman for that spa day she promised. I’d pity Owen, but I’m sure it’ll take no more than five minutes for him to find some other woman’s life to ruin. At least it’s no longer Teddy’s.
If all of this is feeling a little too happy to you, that’s because this week’s tragedy comes at the very last second, when Jenna’s devastating husband reveals that she couldn’t have stolen an empty gas tank from him because all of his tanks were full. Wait — did she open the valve at any point? OH, NO.
Friends, those were my exact words. As Lucas ran down the hallway, I screamed. And when I saw Link with the cauterizing tool, I actually started laughing out of stunned despair. I mean, what the fuck. I’m hoping that this is some kind of bait-and-switch but also struggling to see how Link makes it out alive, given the huge kaboom we saw from outside. If Link really is dead, it’ll be the cruelest thing this show has done in years — probably since DeLuca. Jo will have gone from an abusive husband, to a husband who left her for his ex, to marrying and losing her college best friend in the same week. Talk about being romantically cursed.
Even for Grey’s, this feels outlandishly awful. Part of me suspects that Link will be fine and some other poor, unfortunate soul will wind up dead, but I have no idea who — or how it would happen. I’m guessing, however, that you already know who has my vote.
• I’m glad that Meredith’s Alzheimer’s research is going well, and I’m even more pleased to hear that she’ll be back at Grey Sloan performing surgeries in the summer. Funding for Meredith, prestige for the hospital, and (hopefully) more Ellen Pompeo for us? That’s what we call a win-win-win.
• I didn’t mention this because I stopped caring about Ben several seasons ago, but it looks like he’ll have to find somewhere else to work. Teddy is apparently not going to recommend him for permanent placement at Grey Sloan because as it turns out, pissing off the boss really can have consequences. Who knew! We’ll see if Bailey bails him out, but I’m hoping not.
• What do we think of Simone’s hottie so far? He’s definitely good looking, but there’s something very “early-seasons-Karev” about his energy. Something tells me Lucas won’t like him, either.
